These are a few things that I am finding useful to help keep on top of my anxiety whilst in the November lockdown.

I’ve had anxiety for as long as I can remember and stress of the ‘unknown’ always makes it escalate. Lockdown, the first round, wasn’t too painful at the beginning. I’d had the stress of being stuck across the other side of the world and even though my travelling plans had been ruined, returning home was such a relief I actually felt pretty calm. I was sleeping ok, I wasn’t having panic attacks and going to the supermarket was stressful but I could handle it. But eventually, the protective blanket of being home wore off and I slowly returned to my normal level of anxiety. Even though being at home is my comfort zone, it doesn’t stop the anxiety from creeping in and I think its most centred around the vast months of nothingness that the last lockdown was. 

Fast forward to now and this lockdown already feels very different. We’re only a few days in but I already am feeling the lockdown suffocation and a cloud of no motivation. Whilst a lot of normality had returned before the second lockdown, the majority of my life is still up in the air and my next steps are totally unknown.

I keep reminding myself that this is totally ok, I am handling it and managing it. We can handle and manage this. I know my time to continue travelling will happen eventually, I know I will be able to move in with my boyfriend eventually, and I know I will get a job eventually.

But, it’s still just so easy for negative thoughts to swamp your brain and sap your energy, especially when you’re spending 99% of your time in the same four walls. When I feel overwhelmed or when these thoughts get a lillll bit too much, to stop them from escalating there’s a few specific things that I know I can do to help me think rationally, calm my brain so I can get through it. 

Lists

The number one thing I do when I’m feeling anxious is make it worse by piling an even longer list of to-do’s up in my head that don’t need to be done right now, today or even in the next few days. I build them up in my head and the next thing I know, tears & stress and the rest of the day just seems unachievable. This is where I use the power of written lists.

I used to make long lists of to-do’s for each day and it would be impossible goals as I could never achieve all of them in one day. So I stopped and now I only make short to-do’s containing a list of only 3-4 detailed goals for the day which are much more achievable. By creating a sensible daily list, I can visualise what I’m aiming for each day and ticking off those little boxes feels like such an achievement. If I achieve nothing other than what’s on that to do list, I’ve still done something with my day. I find it’s more helpful to make a plan the night before, stopping me from wasting the next morning and it works as a good wind-down before bed. 

I do find it helpful to also make lists of bigger goals for the week or the month ahead. But again, detailed and specific goals as this still accommodates for the flexibility of life when it gets in the way. You might not tick them all off, but you’ll tick more of than you think and this is a good way of reminding yourself of what you can achieve.

If lists aren’t your thing, journaling before bed can be super effective. I find offloading all my thoughts from the day, writing what I’ve achieved or even just a brief bullet point list of how I’ve felt decreases my worries and stresses so much. Hopefully if lists don’t work for you, journaling might appeal more. 

Move

I have such a love-hate relationship with exercise. I never want to do it but I always enjoy it when I do and I feel so much better after. I think clearer, I sleep better and I can fight the anxiety wobbles more easily. Moving doesn’t have to be running a 5K though or completing a HIIT workout, if leaving the house for a stroll is all you can handle, that’s okay. 

Even if I really don’t feel up for it, 5 paces down the road – okay maybe 10, my mood lifts and things don’t feel so heavy. I feel ‘lighter’ and I come back feeling happy that I achieved leaving the house today. With the limits on movement and time outside with the lockdown, plus the darker nights I know I can be even harder to commit to leaving the house but a few extra layers and it’ll be bearable if not enjoyable! I’ve actually set of my November goals as moving more during lockdown this because I know it helps so much to keep my head level. 

This lockdown, it seems that more parks are staying open, so if you’re getting bored of the same walk it might be worth checking out if any large parks and whether they are in reasonable driving distance which might make the walk seem more worthwhile. Changing up a walking route will make it more appealing too or headphones and music always help if you’re feeling like sticking to your usual route. I know I’ll be branching out where we go for walks this lockdown and taking a hot drink in a flask to keep me cosy.

Sometimes with working hours might restrict you with walks further afield but if you can put aside a couple of free hours, a couple of times a week, the change of scenery can be so so helpful for keeping the anxiety down. Hans Hint: If you are heading to a park, the facilities might not be open and always check the opening times before heading out too as they might have changed with the season or because of covid. 

Routine

The first lockdown in the beginning few weeks felt like a school or uni holiday when I hadn’t got any plans, so I did what I would have done back then; sleeping in, staying in my pjs, netflixing all day, eating comfort food and staying up late. But as lockdown went on and on and it became the new normal, I realised I needed a new routine, even if it was temporary one just for lockdown. I don’t function properly without one and it took me until my third year of university to realise that I need organisation, routine and structure to each day to function normally. Now thinking about it, post diagnosis, it makes sense with my dyspraxia, dyslexia and anxiety when they’re all rolled into one, routine & me go together.  

The routine I’ve attempted to stick to is one I fell into and it isn’t particularly strict but was enough to ensure I have a structured day. A workout with my sister, then make breakfast and shower and then the rest of the day would be doing something creative. We reallyyyy got into Hama beads, I started drawing and I learnt beginner’s calligraphy and basic cross-stitch. In the evening, I’d make dinner, we’d watch something before bed (miss you desperate housewives) and then the day would start all over again.

I liked this routine, it was simple and I didn’t feel any of the pressure I would in my normal day to day life. Not much happened or much was achieved but I was in a good bubble and I had lots of support. Eventually the routine changed, lockdown was eased and things were a new norm. With my sister being back at uni for this lockdown and my boyfriend not being able to move in for this one, I knew routine would be harder and my anxiety would be worse. 

Routine sounds intense but its more about structure like sticking to the same bedtime & wake up time, eating 3 meals or doing daily exercise. Bedtime and wake up times seem to be the most beneficial for keeping me on track. If I sleep in too late then I feel anxious and panicky that I’ve wasted the day but then I go to bed later because I’m not tired or can’t sleep and so on. So this lockdown to stop the anxiety spiralling I have a reasonable wake up and bed time, I keep tasks of things to do every day and I split my day up to fit my to-do list in. If you’re not sure about what routine to do or how to pull yourself back into one, I’d start by setting a good sleep pattern and sticking to it. Once a good pattern is set, it’s easier to manage daily jobs and keep the anxiety under control.  

Help Lines 

If things get too much still and you need an outlet, there are a lot of options. 

Mind Charity is open 9am-6pm, Monday to Friday. 

The number is: 0300 123 3393

I’ve also attached the ‘out of hours’ page if you’re in a crisis and need help when the Mind phone line is closed. The page includes the numbers for Samaritans & others which are open all day & night. All of the services are free and anonymous:

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helplines/out-of-hours-support/

If you’re in a crisis and need to calm down or want some pre-emptive tools to help plan for one, this is the link for the Mind page about coping tools:

https://www.mind.org.uk/need-urgent-help/

If you need medical advice call the 111 non-emergency NHS number or if you feel that you’re unable to keep yourself safe, then it’s a mental health emergency so please do call 999.

I really hope we can all keep safe over lockdown & the winter months. Remember to check in on your friends or family members and don’t be afraid to ask for help, you are not alone. Sending you big hugs.

lots of love, 

Han x